


Magical Bitching

by nyx_aira



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Agatha Harkness & Loki friendship, Agatha Harkness Does What She Wants, Bitchcraft if you want, Gen, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Male-Female Friendship, These two would just cause chaos together, magic and gossip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29865462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyx_aira/pseuds/nyx_aira
Summary: When a new magical threat arrives in NYC Dr.Strange and Wanda need some magical help but Loki and Agatha in one place can only mean one thing, chaos and the start of a beautiful friendship
Relationships: Agatha Harkness & Loki, Agatha Harkness & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Stephen Strange
Comments: 12
Kudos: 84





	Magical Bitching

**Author's Note:**

> I have to say this was the most fun I ever had while writing a fic, I hope you enjoy it.

To say that Strange was busy was an understatement. He was currently fighting and evil interdimensional being that somehow had managed to get to New York, interrupting his Sherlock Holmes marathon.  
The thing could be described as a big glibbery blob that could fly through the air and spit fire, to say he imagined his afternoon a little bit different wasn't really a surprise. He wasn't alone thankfully, Wanda fighting alongside him. The young witch had recently moved into the Sanctum, training her powers under his and Wong's guidance. Even though they were both pretty strong the blob was becoming more and more of a challenge, splitting into mini blobs if you hit it with the same spell twice. It was very annoying. So he did something he swore he would only do if there was no other option. He called for Loki.  
After their, let's call it a disagreement, they had sorted out some kind of truce, deciding the fabric of the universe was more important than their personal differences. 

He and Wanda were just fighting a horde of mini blobs when they started turning purple, crumbling to the ground and fading into nothing. They turned around to see Agatha fling another dozen of the annoying blobs against a building, crushing them against the wall.  
He looked at Wanda who was staring at the other witch in disbelief, shock the prominent emotion on her face, annoyance not far behind. 

"Did you call her?" 

The young witch asked, Sokovian accent present. Something he had noticed that happened when she was emotional or annoyed.  
He was about to answer when they saw green sparks dancing around another small army of the annoying creatures, capturing them in a magic barrier and crushing until there was only interdimensional alien goo left. 

"No I called him." 

Strange answered with a sigh, pointing to a building to their far right where Loki just teleported, throwing a couple magical daggers at the slime monsters.  
Wanda dropped her head into her hands, staring at him in disbelief. 

"Great now we not only have to fight that stupid blob thing but also have to deal with grumpy and petty." 

He lifted an eyebrow at the nicknames and shot her an amused look. 

"Who is who? " 

She just wanted to answer him when they saw another horde of blobs heading their way. Looking at each other they nodded, ready to attack.  
Flying high in the air Wanda shot some energy blasts in their direction, giving Strange the opportunity to catch them and send them back into their dimension. She was about to round the corner when she saw something flying towards her, turning around she brought up a barrier to defend herself but the attack never came as Agatha landed not far from her, using another spell to open a portal the witch flung them in its general direction, the portal catching them and making them vanish. More blobs started to appear and Wanda realised that the situation was getting more and more out of control.  
She was ready to attack the remaining creatures when she heard a roar, whipping her head around she stared at the new creature that just appeared on top of a nearby skyscraper. It kinda looked like a dragon with for two sets of wings and tentacles, spitting some kind of toxin and fading in and out of existence. Wanda groaned, their day wasn't bad enough already with the blob thing, a fancy dragon squid wasn't really some she needed today as well. 

Agatha floated next to Wanda, bored expression on her face. It wasn't something she hadn't seen before. These kind of creatures were annoying, sure, but nothing she couldn't handle if she needed to.  
Deciding that she did not need to get toxin stains on her new outfit today she turned to Wanda, already regretting what she was about to say. 

"You and Strange handle our new guest, I'll handle these fuckers." 

Shocked at her offer Wanda turned to her, raising an unbelieving eyebrow. 

"You want to help us ?" 

"Don't think too long about it or I might change my mind." 

Groaning Wanda shot her one last glare before she flew away to help Strange. 

Looking around Agatha decided that chasing after each of the annoying creatures was too much of a hassle. She looked around to find a good spot to catch as many of them without doing much work. Spotting a suitable tower in the distance she flew towards it, blasting a couple blobs out of her way as she arrived on the top. 

The sight that greeted her was almost comical, there sat Loki, on a beach chair with sunglasses on his head sipping a colourful cocktail, every now and then flicking his hand to catch a blob that got too close to the tower, flinging it towards a portal he had opened not far away.  
He lifted his shades as she approached him, snapping his fingers to let another chair appear, nodding his head towards it.  
She laughed at the gesture, settling down in the surprisingly comfortable chair, conjuring up her own glasses to block out the sun. 

"Never imagined to see you in New York again Trickster." 

He only snorted at that, flinging another blob into the portal, a green 178 popping up over the interdimensional gateway. 

"Never say never." 

Agatha chuckled, flinging a couple creatures towards the portal as well, a purple 154 lighting up. She grinned, she wasn't that far behind. 

"I don't understand why heroes always have to be so dramatic, its far more entertaining this way." 

The god commented, refilling his drink and conjuring some pastries, grabbing some for himself before he passed the floating tray in her direction. 

"Exactly, they are always so extra, always so much drama." 

Agatha remarked, grabbing a strawberry cupcake, absently flinging a couple blobs into the portal. 

_"Strange look out!"_

_Wanda was panting, she had a cut across her cheek and her suit was burned in a couple places, the toxin and fire having gotten to her at one point.  
Strange ducked a blast and ran towards her, shielding himself as he yelled something she couldn't understand over the noise of the battle. _

The count over the portal just reached a tie when Agatha had finished her cupcake, tossing the wrapper aside she looked at the tray, deciding which one to try next. 

"The lemon cake is divine, you should try it." 

Loki supplied, taking a bite from his chocolate covered strawberry, adjusting his shades as they had slipped down his nose a bit.  
She took a slice of the lemon cake and refilled the drink the god had offered her as the count had reached 1000, plopping some more ice cubes into the cocktail, it was a hot summer day after all. 

_Wanda jumped over some rubble, running for cover as she was chased down the ally by not less than 20 slimy creatures. Sometime in the last hour she had broken her wrist, the dull ache in her hand nothing compared to the burning feeling in her legs. She had ran more than ever in her life today. Yelling at Strange who was running besides her to keep going the slid behind some garbage cans.  
Panting she looked at him. He was missing an eyebrow and his right sleeve, his boots melted to his trousers from a pretty hot fire ball from one of the creatures. _

"The weather is quite nice today, don't you think? " 

Agatha remarked, taking a sip of her cocktail, adding more ice as most of it had melted already. They had conjured a sun shade as it got hotter, the temperatures pushing 30⁰C 

"A little bit to hot for my liking but it's definitely nice." 

Loki answered, taking a bite out of his ice cream. He had change into a sleeveless tunic, pulling his hair into a messy bun, his boots having been replaced by flip flops. He flung his hand towards the portal, a green 735 popping up. 

"Seems like im winning Ms. Harkness." 

Agatha just laughed as she twisted her hand, sending some blobs into the portal, the purple 737 making her shoot the trickster god a triumphant smile. 

"Don't get cocky dear." 

Agatha had changed her outfit as well. Now spotting a purple flower dress, the fabric flowing around her knees, sandals instead of heeled boots. They had exchanged the pastries for ice cream at some point, Loki opting for mint and chocolate as Agatha chose blueberry and raspberry. They were just about to decide whether or not to order pizza when they heard a loud bang and smoke started to form a couple blocks in the distance.  
Lifting his shades to have a better look on what's going on Loki shot a questioning look in her direction. 

"You think they are alright? " 

Waving him off Agatha took another bite from her ice cream, settling back in the chair. 

"They'll be fine." 

_"Run"_

_That was the last thing Wanda heard before all hell broke lose, the building behind them catching fire and the toxin starting to react with it.  
Strange grabbed her by the hand and they portaled out of the collapsing building.  
Landing roughly on the concrete a couple streets over they groaned. Wanda by now having lost her right boot and part of her jacket. Strange didn't look much better, having lost a chunk of his hair to the fire and a broken ankle thanks to a fall from the third floor. It really wasn’t their day. _

Loki and Agatha were just debating whether two servings of bread rolls were too much when an orange portal opened. They turned their heads away from the menu to look at the new arrival.  
It was Wong, wearing beach shorts and a hawaii shirt, dragging his own beach chair through the portal. 

"The Sanctum is safe, these idiots just don't know how to fight efficiently." 

With these words he plopped down on his chair, accepting the menu Agatha offered him. 

"Alright we can order two servings of bread rolls now but this won't work without a salad." 

Loki commented, scrolling through the menu, debating whether he should order a caesar salad or the tuna one, both sounded delicious.  
Having meanwhile conjured a fire pit and some blankets, as the sun was starting to set, they had dragged a table from the Sanctums dining room onto their rooftop. It was surprisingly easy to find a restaurant who delivered on top of a building if you offered to tip a little bit more. 

"What do you think, red or white wine?" 

Agatha asked as she held up two bottles. She had moved to the table already and had kicked her feet up on the table, watching the sunset as they waited for the food to arrive, distant bangs of fighting heard in the distance. 

"I'll take the red wine." 

Loki commented from where he was standing, arranging the fairy lights around the roof top. You needed a nice atmosphere to have a nice dinner party after all. 

"I think the pizza arrived, I'll be right back." 

With these words Wong opened a portal and stepped through it, leaving Agatha and Loki to their own devices. The god was painting his nails, nail polish floating in the air as he carefully applied the second coat of midnight black.  
Meanwhile the witch had leaned back in her chair, wine glass in hand as she absently played with a ball of purple energy, illuminating the whole table in a purple glow. 

"Today has been a great day, I really needed a day off." 

She commented, taking a sip of her wine, taking her feet off the table as Wong appeared with their food, unpacking the pizza cartons and sorting through the food. 

_Wanda and Strange were done. They had finally managed to defeat the dragon squid thing, the blobs having disappeared a while ago. She had wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he had problems walking with his injured foot, her own wrist hurting like hell.  
They were exhausted, smelling like dead dragon and smoke, covered in interdimensional goo and first degree burns. _

_"This has been a fucking nightmare. "_

_The sorcerer supreme commented. Wanda just nodding her head, too exhausted to say anything._

"I'd like to make a toast. " 

Agatha groaned at Loki's statement, hitting her head on the table. They had had clearly to much alcohol, Loki bringing out some asgardian liquor, Wong bringing some alcohol from his home and she herself conjuring a bottle out of her ever-growing wine collection.  
Loki was leaning against the table, having to hold onto it for support. Wong wasn't much better, feet kicked up on the table, glass in hand, refilling all of their glasses with what he call the best liquor you can get on earth.  
She wanted to disagree but had to admit it was quite good. Getting up from her chair she raised her glass. 

"And what are we making a toast on?" 

Loki winked at her, raising his glass as he helped Wong up, the other man the most intoxicated of the trio. 

"To this beautiful day and this beautiful friendship. " 

"No no no, to magic and bitching about stupid people. " 

Wong interrupted, talking about their animated discussion on who had to deal with the most shit.  
The two men started arguing, on what they would speak their toast on. Groaning Agatha snapped her fingers, catching the attention of the two sorcerers, lifting her glass she spoke, a little bit more slurred than usual. 

"To bitchcraft and the imbeciles we have to deal with on a daily basis. " 

"To bitchcraft. " 

They all echoed, raising their glasses. 

_"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"_

_Wanda asked Strange as they stepped out of the portal onto the rooftop, watching the trio speak a toast.  
He just shook his head and pulled her back into the portal. _

_"I think we both got hit in the head one too many times. "_

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback are appreciated :)


End file.
